Sugardaddy

Great News

2010-11-08T20:29:00.002-05:00

I know Faithful Reader that is has been awhile. However I just got the best news I have gotten in a long while. Our Saucy Wildcat received a letter from Mayo today saying there is "no evidence of residual disease".
I ask that you offer a thanks to whatever God you worship for such great news. Our Saucy Wildcat is a true survivor...............
(excuse the tears)

The Game

2010-07-27T20:22:00.000-04:00

You play the game. Admit it. We all play the game. You sit in a meeting and look around and rank the folks at the table. “I would do him/her first and then…..” until you did the table.
Tonight at Outback I played the game with a table of 7. There were five ladies and two guys. Number three was a guy…………………………..

Interesting Sights

2010-07-26T21:16:00.000-04:00

Driving to the bank in the middle of communications Hell I noticed a couple of things.
There is an Elementary School on the way whose sign proclaims “Home of the Terrors”. Now if you were a teacher looking for a job would ya go there?
Another sight was the Day Care center named the “Look and Learn” center. Right next door was a neon sign for the ExoTic Gentelmens’ Club. Hey kids: Look and Learn. Maybe this is a pre-school for anatomy students.
Ya can’t make this stuff up.

Soooo Random................

2010-07-25T22:37:00.001-04:00

One of the neat things about traveling on Sundays is that you get to watch all the football you want to watch. However, during the dark time of the year we have no football, it really sucks. Landed, drove 2 and a half hours to the edge of nowhere. Tomorrow AM I get to get up and drive to the middle of nowhere. The biggest bitch is that about 15 miles form the hotel I lose contact with the civilized world. No cell, no BB. Sugar needs his AM Saucy fix and will miss it. Now of course I could call her at 6:00 but I do value my life.
So Baby Boy had his bachelor party last night. I wisely chose not to go. Flew #1 son up for the occasion. Before they left I gave them 20 one dollar bills to spread amongst the less fortunate people in the ATL. I think the money went to young ladies who could not really afford clothes and therefore have to dance nekkid. Number 1 just texted me and said he was back in Tampa. Not too sure how he got there but he is there.
Went to get my blue suit altered Friday (after a wonderful lunch with our Saucy Wildcat). Walked in and was told that “she (tailor) didn’t come in today”. OK………. Now the lady at the desk asked when I needed my blue suit. Told her 8/10 and she said “you gots plenty of time”. Problem is lady that Sugar won’t be back in town until 8/9. So anyway in case you guys do not know this, there is always a dry cleaner near a military base with two Korean ladies who will tailor the shit out of anything. Walked in, she pointed to the changing room and 15 minutes (and $45) later I am in business. And for the record, I will be dashing. If you are nice, I just may post a picture of me.
There is something about a man in uniform. And it even makes Sugar look OK.
Did I mention I am on the edge of the Earth? I do not know how I am going to survive without cell or BB coverage. But as one of my favorite Germans once said “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”.
Miss you guys.
Yall play pretty out there ya hear?
And:
HumanKind: Be Both

2010-07-14T21:26:00.000-04:00

So the last time I was here (5th visit) I had some house keeping issues. Seems I had to remind them to empty my trash 3 days in a row. I was told that they were having some “house keeping staff issues”. OK, I will give you that.
Now yesterday I arrived and my bed was not made, trash not emptied, and I know there was no vacuuming since the desk chair was is the same place I left it in the morning (across the room from the desk). Went to the front desk and calmly explained that I did not understand why my room was not touched. Was asked if I had the do not disturb note out and I assured them I didn’t and to prove that mentioned that they did pick up the towels from the bathroom floor. Never raised my voice and used no four letter words yet my travel companions said “I have never heard such an ass chewing”. Stay calm and make your point.
Guy at bank asked where we were staying and how was it. I told him and gave a short version of my house keeping issues. He said well at noon today the hotel will be auctioned on the Court House steps. Current high bid is $5.5 million. Unfortunately the hotel is into the bank for $6.0 million.
Guess that house keeping is not their only problem……………..

2010-06-28T20:22:00.000-04:00

Yes my Faithful Reader, Sugar is alive and kicking. Even though the past weeks have been on the road when I normally do my posting, I have been remiss in posting as they are working me like a redheaded rented stepchild mule. Enough whining, now to an update.
On the wedding front, I bought a new blue suit this weekend. Empress had said earlier that I would have to fit into my old blue suit so I had to lose about 60 pounds. Well this week she dropped (so far) over $300 for a Mother of the Groom dress. I countered. Now of course she wanted me to “just try the old one on to make sure”. Folks, this suit were marginal at 190. Right now it is a blivit (try to stuff 20 pounds into a 5 pound bag). I did it, she looked, and now I have a new blue suit.
So the Empress’ office throws an annual cook off for one of the loan officers. Don’t know why, but they just do it. He is a lemon freak. Normally (and excuse me Saucy) my contribution is merely a bag of lemon drops. However this year “we” decided to make a lemon cake, with lemon curd as a layer, and lemon icing. To decorate it we had lemon drops (again, forgive me Saucy) and Empress wanted to place Jelly Belly lemon “jellybeans” on the cake. Well………………………
As a Board Member of the IJBC (International Jelly Bean Consortium), I had to get permission to purchase the above mentioned alleged “jellybeans”. Previously at great loss of political capital and personal embarrassment, I have gotten “juicy pear” Jelly Belly beans provisionally approved. The IJBC approved my purchase with some conditions. I am temporarily suspended from the board and the divorce papers must be served by 1/7/10. Now when I purchased the alleged jellybeans I also purchased steaks for dinner. The steaks were $5.49 a pound. The alleged jellybeans were $7.49 a pound. Eff me!
Yall play pretty out there, ya hear.

Remember

2010-05-30T09:54:00.000-04:00

ALL GAVE SOME
SOME GAVE ALL

No Point At All

2010-05-24T20:45:00.000-04:00

Sitting here watching the final 24 episode. Are they going to kill Jack? Well since the movie is coming out, maybe not.
My room is next to not only the elevator but the elevator maintenance room. Bed shakes like one of those “Magic Fingers. Deposit $0.25 for three minutes” every time someone goes up or down. Anyone interested?
I have finally come up with a name for my future Daughter In Law. I love her to pieces but………….. She will hereby be referred to as Empress in Training (EIT). Trust me on this one.
So at one point in time while packing for this trip I was distracted from my routine – is that a rabbit over there? – and I was kinda wondering why I didn’t have to work to zip the old bag up. This morning I found out why. Something happened and I did not pack my dress shues. So I asked the lady with whom I have been working (shows more cleavage every day and has moved into my personal space) where to buy shues. She told me. Went there after work and found a pair I like (which is very hard cause I am picky). Gave it to the sales lady with my size and learned that they didn’t have it but a store in XXX did. I am not from around here so……………I told ya that to tell ya this:
Asked my server where she bought shues. She directed me to a place where I got the same shues at half the price. The moral of the story is: ask a working person.
You guys be nice each other.

HUMANKIND – Be Both

2010-05-19T20:51:00.002-04:00

On the road at a huge client. So far this year I am 0 for 2 on successful install of my product. This week, so far so good. Problem is that due to the size of this client, everything is taking about 3 times longer to accomplish than normal. Now this ain't nuclear gynocology but it all has to be keyed in. I am begining to feel like a chimp sitting at a keyboard. Click, tab tab, cntrl V, tab tab tab, click, 6 keystrokes, tab, 6 keystrokes, enter. Do that for 30+ individuals for 30+ locations. It takes 15 minutes to do one person. I really keep looking for the food pellet to come out of the slot for being such a good chimp.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, food situation here is great. I have found a place that has great service and great food. It is a chain I have visited before in other locations but this place stands head and shoulders above the other locations. I have of course praised the cook and waitstaff to corporate. My server is built kinda like Olive Oyle (but with bigger boobs). I found out tonight she has 4 kids. The youngest is 9 months old. I told her that women around the world hated her. Ya know ya do.
So anyway that's bout all of the randomness I got tonight.
Yall play pretty out there now and remember:

HUMANKIND Be Both

2010-05-08T19:00:00.001-04:00

It is her story to tell but I think the best friend I have ever had in the world has finally had the Mothers' Day she deserves.

2010-05-07T00:18:00.000-04:00

So I have to use the corporate agency to book travel. I have to use my corporate card to make arrangements and to pay for anything I do. We have a “local” policy that we can only file one report per month because each report costs $4.00 (I work for a Fortune 100 Company you know).
I had a $3500 expense report “extracted for payment “today.
My company card was declined for a $20 dinner tonight. I have spent about 45 minutes on the phone to pay for a flight I have to book now to save the low fare (company rules). Now I did what I had to do but I will have to submit a written explanation as to why I did not use the company card for the dinner or the flight..
I love “rules” that are unbending………
But I don’t have a problem.

2010-05-05T20:38:00.001-04:00

A long time ago in a galaxy far away my friend DG and I were walking back from a gas chamber exercise. Now trust me my Faithful Reader there is no way a gas chamber exercise can be pleasant. As we walked by the Headquarters of the unit that did the exercise DG stopped in and asked to talk to the Head Fred. He complemented the HF and told him what a good job the guy in charge of making us miserable did. I inquired and DG said “If someone does a good job, complement them immediately.” Food for thought.
So if you are at a restaurant and you get crappy service do you call the manager over and complain? Sure you do. If you are at a restaurant and get exceptional service do you say to yourself “I am going to email or whatever and tell them what great service I got”. Sure you do. However, do you actually follow through? I heard a preacher once say “Good intentions are like crying babies. They should be carried out immediately”.
Told ya that to tell you this.
I had great service at TGI Fridays tonight. Before I signed the tab I asked my server to bring the Manager over. With she and he standing there I sung her praises. She blushed and he appreciated the good news. Did it get her more money? I doubt it. Did it make her feel important? I am sure it did.
My point (and I do have one) is make sure that if you receive good service at any level and in anything you do acknowledge it NOW! Do not wait until later cause you won’t do it. Remember people serving you have a thankless job. If they screw up they get yelled at. If they do good, no one notices.
“When we do bad, no one forgets. When we do good, no one remembers.”
(Hells Angels bumper sticker)

More on Food

2010-05-05T17:59:00.000-04:00

And while I am on the subject.......
In a place tonight that has a 2 for $20 deal going on. One appetizer for two, two entrees, and one desert for two.
So I see this couple ordering this menu. They end up with ordering two of the menus for two. They had four apps, two entrees, and I left before the wheelbarrow brought out the deserts.
Maybe it is because I am trying to watch what I eat. Or maybe it is because I am looking at wasting food that can be sent to the Ethernopians. But just damn people! An you wonder why you don't fit in the booth?

Fajitas

2010-05-04T18:38:00.001-04:00

Don't understand them.
So you order a dish that comes in several pieces so you can put the dish together yourself? And you came to a resturant because?
Kinda reminds me of the Southern humorist Lewis Grizzard on salad bars. Trying to quote but it aint accurate but when he was told to "help yourself to the salad bar" he took offense. Told the waitress to bring him a heaping helping of everything except radishes and extra groovy garlic dressing. The point was: I came here because I wanted to be waited on and served, not to fix my own food.
Maybe it's an olde guy thing..............

2010-05-03T20:50:00.000-04:00

So I am ironing my shirts in the hotel room tonight before I hang them up. I realized that all of the shirts are pretty much the same. Chaps shirts with stripes. The only real difference is the primary color. I wonder if this has anything to do with my alleged obsessive compulsive behavior (see Saucy Wildcat comments on me being Rainman). I do shop at the same store all the time so I guess it is possible. However, I reject that generalization as I do not limit myself to striped shirts. Just a month or so ago Saucy noted “You had on a pink shirt when you got here and I see that you have three pink shirts in your laundry in the back seat”. Well really, who can have enough pink shirts?
But actually I really think I need adult geranimals. The clothing line that made you wear matching animal pictures on the labels cause that way a kid would not wear stripes with plaid.
As usual, no point here. Just rambling on an evening in a place I can’t find on a map
Yall play pretty out there and remember

HUMANKIND – Be Both

2010-05-02T22:07:00.002-04:00

I have said it before and I will say it again. If you are ever lost in ButtFuck VA or anywhere else do not ask for directions at a gas station unless you speak Farsi or Pashtu. Don't ask a cop. Go to a Pizza Hut or a Dominos. These guys know where places are. Mapquest sent me to a street that can best be described as a driveway.
But I am OK now.............

2010-04-30T17:17:00.002-04:00

So a local County has been running a traffic ticket amnesty program. The program started two months ago and the deadline is 4:30 today. Right now on the local news they are covering the situation where there is a three hour wait and people are complaining. Hey, I have an idea. PAY THE EFFIN TICKET WHEN YOU GET IT OR GO TO COURT AND FIGHT. And if given a chance at amnesty, DON'T WAIT UNTIL THE LAST EFFIN MINUTE TO GO AND MAN UP. Lordy, Lordy save me from the "rules don't apply to me" segment of our population. I have lived in countries where these folks would have been shot on site.
But I don't have an opinion.

Tough HR Policy

2010-04-28T19:06:00.001-04:00

Was in a store recently and saw a sign:
"All Dead Fish Must Be Written UP"
So if they get written up 3 times do they get transferred to the Sushi Department?

Shaving

2010-04-23T21:46:00.000-04:00

I hate to shave. I consider it a time consuming chore. Now I don't have the hassle of ladies who shave their legs, but I hate to shave. When I am on site at a client I don't shave. Of course I do before I hit the plane cause Empress does not like an unshaved Sugar.
I told ya that to tell ya this.
At dinner one night I saw a guy with a very well maintained beard. I was bored so I kinda looked and studied (hey, I said I was bored). Anyway I figured he spent more time grooming that beard than I spend shaving my fat face. Therefore I have another reason not to go to the beard stage (fear being the first of course).

2010-04-22T21:07:00.001-04:00

I was just was served the smallest steak in the world. The cow providing it was not butchered, it was just a flesh wound. Thought about sending it to a starving person in Ethernopia but figured I woud get it back with a note saying "Why Bother?".

2010-04-20T22:39:00.000-04:00

So I tend to eat in restaurants quite a bit. I always look for the smallest entrée and most of the time order off the appetizer menu. Meanwhile back at the ranch, as I look around I see people getting served more food than a Somalian family would see in a year. These are folk who don’t get out much and I guess they look at the menu and say “Yes”.
Remarkable.

2010-04-15T21:28:00.000-04:00

I've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired? Well..I'm fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things I enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch , and margaritas into urine
There ya go..................

2010-04-14T21:25:00.000-04:00

I am living in a “compound” of hotels and eateries just outside of Midway Airport in Chicago. This evening I asked the young lady at the desk which restaurant she would go to if she wanted dinner. The choices were a steak house and a sports bar. Her description of the steak house was a bit pricey with high prices. The sports bar was good food and good prices. She also recommended a local steak house but Sugar was probably not supposed to drive. Anyhoo, we chose the sports bar. Funny, I am in a Holiday Inn Express and the recommended place was in the Holiday Inn. Coincidence? You decide.
So there I was in the sports bar. It was a seat yourself place so I found a place for one out of the way. I had my BlackBerry, phone, and book. A few minutes later, a young lady came in by herself. She chose a table like mine, pulled out her book, BlackBerry, and phone. So Sugar is not that twisted? Nah, I am still effed up.
As to the food, it was OK. Service was a bit iffy. Server asked what I wanted to drink. Of course it was “house Chardonnay”. She brought me some red. I pointed out that chard was white. Did get what I wanted and to her credit she tried not to charge me for the red. I of course (remember DIL waits tables at the Bee) made her charge me. I am such a nice guy.
Will I go back? No. Will I have a DD take me to the local chop house? Absolutely!
This of course has no point. Please remember it is random neuron firings.
Oh Wait!!
Our Saucy Wildcat is doing the Relay For Life this weekend. Send her money and keep her in your thoughts. She is doing God’s work here.

HUMANKIND – Be Both

Where is Homeland Security When You Need Em?

2010-04-12T21:59:00.000-04:00

My Father carried a rifle or shotgun every day of his kidhood. He lived at dam sites in the woods and he and his best friend wandered the woods. The rifle/shotgun was to (1) get food and (b) avoid snakes. When we cleaned out his apartment my Brother and I dug out an assortment of a total of six rifle/shotgun combination. My Brother didn't want them. I didn't want them. However, Baby Boy had expressed an interest so we decided to give them to him. So I threw the weapons into the back of E's SUV, covered them with a blanket, and drove up to Baby Boy's town. Took him to dinner and afterwards met in the parking lot of the neighborhood grill and bar. It was twilight as we moved the weapons from my vehicle to his. At one point in time as I passed a rifle to him I yelled "Allah u Ahkbar". He held the rifle up and pumped it up and down.
Empress was not amused.

Travel Fun

2010-04-11T21:49:00.002-04:00

So Sugar is finally back where he belongs. Flying on planes, sleeping in hotels, and eating in resturants. Flew into Midway this afternoon. Second trip here so I of course arrogantly thought I had it all "covered". Let's skip past the getting lost on the way to the hotel (next to the one I was in previously), let's skip the fact that I couldn't find the hotel in the complex and had to ask directions (will be sending in my Man Card later). No let's concentrate on something else.
I was given a Dodge Charger. It is new with less than 1500 miles on it. Still smells nice. This car had the funniest keys I had ever seen. They were little bitty skinny things. Search as I might, I could not find a hole in which they fit. I mean they were little short skinny things trying to fill a big hole (OK ladies.....). I even looked for a start button "as seen on TV" to no avail. Finally I lost my last drop of testosterone and went to the booth to ask the lady how to start my car. It seems that the black thingy with the lock/unlock/trunk/panic functions also has a little tit on the end that fits into the hole that starts the car that embarassed the shit out of Sugar.
It may be a long week folks..............

2010-04-08T20:24:00.000-04:00

Sugar hits the trifecta.
Just saying here.................

Simplicity

2010-04-03T19:10:00.001-04:00

I emptied my sock drawer this morning. Then I went to the store and bought 12 pair of black socks. Same style, same brand.
Now I am either efficient (no stumbling in the AM or matching on laundry day), lazy, or sick.
Yall choose.

Thanks

2010-04-01T07:57:00.002-04:00

Thank you all for your prayers/thoughts/well wishes/etc. This proves again that blogging is not a waste of time.
DH and Chuck. Who knew what it would take to bring you out of the closet. I mean back on a blog.
Average Chick and Jennybean. Thanks for everything and every kind world and thought.
And Saucy. What would I ever do without you? Rest assured that I will collect on that hug at the first possible opportunity.

Lil Orphan Sugardaddy

2010-03-29T22:47:00.000-04:00

My father passed peacefully in his sleep yesterday. He is reunited with the love of his life and is happy for the first time in over four years. We are not mourning, we are glad that he and Mom are back together again. Per his wishes there will be no big"ceremonies" or the like. If you want to celebrate my Father's life, get up, walk across the room, and hug someone you love like you will never see them again

2010-03-28T18:11:00.002-04:00

So the Fiance' wants Number One son to come to Baby Boy's birthday party. I cannot say no to her so I buy the ticket. Since #1 and I share a first and last name I can use my Skymiles account. Thursday prior to the Saturday flight I get notified that he has been upgraded to First Class. I check his seat. Now it IS in First Class but it is not really one of the better seats in First Class so I change the seat to my favorite. When he and I were discussing this and he agreed with my seat selections, the Empress actually had the nerve to accuse us both of being travel "snobs".
How Rude

Invitations

2010-03-23T19:27:00.002-04:00

BB is getting married. The project today was to do invitations. They asked Empress what she wanted. Well she went to EmilyPost.com or something and found that properly it should be:
Lieutenant Colonel SugarDaddy US Army Retired
and
Mrs SugarDaddy

This has been changed to:
Empress
and
the sperm donor.

2010-03-14T01:00:00.002-05:00

Since our Saucy Wildcat is not around to remind us (gone but never forgotten), I thought I would post her annual reminder that today is a very special day.
Hope everyone gets all they want...........

2010-03-12T16:06:00.002-05:00

So I am checking in at the DR for a routine visit when I hear one of the phone answering ladies say "first chest pain of the morning". She got up and went towards where the DR/PA's were and came right back. I heard her say to the person on the phone (who called regarding chest pains mind you), "Do you think you can come in right now?" Then I heard her say "Well when do you think you will be able to come in?"
Two things here:
(1) I got chest pains, I ain't calling the Family Clinic to ask questions, I am calling 911.
(b) If I do call and they ask me when I can come in, you can bet your ass my answer will be "I'm on my way".
And just as a side note, once upon a time a very young and stupid Sugar drove himself to the hospital when he thought he was having a heart attack. I said "young" and stupid. Not my current state. I am old and senile. Probably couldn't find my way to the hospital on my own now.

2010-03-10T19:04:00.001-05:00

I have come to believe that owning a Toyota is now a free pass to getting out of an accident. "It start accelerated and I couldn't stop it".
Just saying.............

Geographic Arrogance

2010-02-23T22:26:00.004-05:00

Well here I am in the Tampa/ST Petersburg area. I found my hotel, called #1 Son and set up dinner. When we talked I commented "it will be better to come up US XX vice the Interstate". He agreed. It took around 25 minutes (almost the time from Saucy's work to Saucy's house) to get to his place. We went to dinner, hung out, and I declared it was time to go back to the room. Before I left the thought of "maybe you should go pee" went through my mind. Nah, I said to myself, it is only 25 minutes to the hotel.
Well ya know, one way streets and right turn only signs can really eff you up. I ended up across the Bay at the airport. Somewhere on a security tape is Sugar taking a leak on the highway cause a 20 minute trip that extends to an hour can be tough on the bladder. I did actually think at one time that "I really don't like these pants, and I am in a rental" but decided to pull into the emergency lane and impress ladies passing by instead.
It has been a fun night...............

2010-02-22T20:15:00.002-05:00

Now I am in a place where I can be called "youngster" quite often. It seems like old people from the North East come to Sarasota to die. One of the signs of that is the fact that in each parking lot of a market or Wal*Mart each row has 10 handicap spaces on each side of the aisle and they are always full. It is so nice to be the "kid".
In another note, please go out and speak to my dear friend Jennybean at sunshineonmytoes.blogspot.com (I have nuked my link capability). She had her tonsils out today and is probably in need of some luv. I think it is great cause when you have your tonsils out you can have all of the ice cream in the world you want to eat.
Small world. I was wandering down the hall to the desk to ask where I can find Stone Crab Claws (OMG) and ran into two folks from the company's Care Bear Team. They are here for another client but whoda thunk? I was offered a spot on the Care Bear Team once but they did not have a place for the Don't Care Bear.
Baby Boy called today with a "minor" change to the wedding. Only backing it up by one day. Don't know if the church will handle the change, the after rehersal, or anything else. This is all being driven by the reception which is of course the most important part of the wedding you know (and I aint paying for it!!).
Hey, I advertise that these are random neuron firings...............

2010-02-21T21:08:00.000-05:00

So Sugar has been watching the Olympics since the marathon was run bare footed and the men’s wrestling was naked (Saucy, I will give you a moment here). However I have noticed something at these Winter Games I have not seen before. There are blue and red lines in the snow showing the skiers the boundaries and stuff. WTF?? Isn’t part of the sport knowing the track and what to do when? Are these going to be expanded to “turn here”, “slow down”, “dangerous curve ahead” signs? I see it on the ski slops and the bobsled runs. Maybe for hockey we could post “shoot now” messages.
Wimpification. Pure and simple Wimpification.
Thus endeth the olde man rant.

2010-02-19T16:16:00.002-05:00

So I am sitting in the ice cream parlor at the airport enjoying my pre-flight sundae just hanging out. The gentleman seated behind me was giving someone a very detailed and very good description of the US Congress. How it is supposed to work and how it works. He was just like Fox News "Fair and Balanced" (don't tune out now). Actually the guy cut no one and slack. He seemed to have a Libertarian slant but it was a very good discussion.
However, this discussion really bothered me. It seems the talk was being given by a gentleman with a very heavy Middle Eastern accent. I know it is wrong, but I was uncomfortable...................

Dear Dr Oz

2010-02-15T09:49:00.002-05:00

Watched your men's health episode with E last Friday. I must say that it was quite interesting. I did enjoy the piece on testicular cancer and how men need to do a self exam. Now when I adjust or scratch -- no matter where I am -- I can always respond when E gets upset, "Well Dr Oz told me to".
Thanks!

Peeve, Pet

2010-02-13T11:08:00.003-05:00

I will admit, I do have a problem. Our Saucy Wildcat put it succinctly when she told me once that I was two toothpicks shy of Rainman. I admit it, I own it. Having said that……
Have you ever noticed that some people think that their time is more valuable than yours? Perhaps some of my ticks were implanted into me in high school (history book had one chapter titled Yesterday) when my band director firmly believed that if you were 30 minutes early you were early, 15 minutes early you were on time, and if you were on time you were late. If we agree to meet at 11 look for me at 10 til. My first career further engrained this into me. If you were late (aka on time) you were in deep trouble. Now you could possibly leave a few minutes early but for whatever sake, never be late.
The Empress’ family has no sense of time. It did not surprise me at all when the home health care lady asked MIL what day of the week it was and she did not know. Over the years I have come to expect that if we are going to do anything with her family I will get ready and go sit on the porch until they decide to drag their butts out and head to wherever (people wonder why I drink heavily when with them).
Anyway for the most part I have found throughout my life most people are conscience of time and make an honest effort to be punctual. The one exception is in college level academics. In all of the educational pursuits I have undertaken, I have found that for the most part professors tend to believe that your (my) time is not as valuable as theirs. They show up for lectures 5/10 minutes late, go over class time not realizing that you may have a class across campus to attend, fill time with meaningless crap if they run under time, or not show up at all. We all remember joking about how long to wait in a classroom waiting on the prof to show. XX for grad assist, XX for regular prof, and forever for those whose first names were DR and their last names PhD. And the funny part of it all is, these are the same people who will whack you with points off of your grade if you are late to their classes. I wonder if they carry this over to their personal lives as well. If so, they must surround themselves with very patient people.
Thus endeth the rant from nowhere.

Sanitation

2010-02-07T13:50:00.002-05:00

So I am walking out of the store after picking up the last touches for my Super Bowl get together. Lord knows it wasn't extra bier since I happen to live in one of the last places on Earth where you can't purchase on Sunday but that is another story.
I heard a lady in the parking lot offering her shopping cart to an elderly lady going toward the store: "Here would you like this buggy (aka shopping cart)? It has alreade been sanitized (insert five long "i"s when you pronounce sanitize)".
OK, if I were the sort who would take the time to sanitize my cart before I used it would I not do so just because a stranger told me that she had taken care of it? And lady what did you do, sanitize the handle, put on your gloves, and bring the cart out to the parking lot to give away?
Oh the dumbassery.................

2010-01-31T17:45:00.001-05:00

Alzheimer's sucks...................

2010-01-24T18:54:00.000-05:00

So the Colts came through for me. I was conflicted because I have been a Jets fan since the days of Joe Willie “Broadway Joe” Namath. The last Colts/Jets game I watched was a Super Bowl which may have been the first nail in the coffin of my first love relationship.
Anyway
Now that the Colts are in, I am watching with great interest the Vikes. I really want them to win the game for two reasons. First I really like Brett. Second (and more importantly) I don’t think I could stand the Katrina references that will come if the Saints pull it out.
Of Course
I really want the Vikes to win so I can place a bet with anyone in the frozen North who bleeds purple. Colts/Vikes. Anyone? Anyone? Jennybean?? This could be a very interesting bet ya know.
GO VIKES

OH YEAH

2010-01-24T11:56:00.000-05:00

GO VIKINGS!!
GO COLTS!!!

Drugs and Priorities

2010-01-23T09:07:00.001-05:00

So there I was, standing in line at the pharmacy waiting to pick up my ration of olde man drugs. The guy at the register ahead of me had a grocery sack full and they were scanning the prices. At the end of the scan with all of his insurance kicking in, this guy paid $150 for the sack of drugs. At $3.00 and free per pop, that is a lot of drugs. The guy of course could not just take his bag and move on. He had questions. One of his questions involved why some the name of the drug he bought was not equal to the name of the drug his DR told him he was going to get. Now this is reasonable to want this knowledge but hey, there is a consultation area away from the register, go there and ask questions. Anyway the tech was really nice showing him bottles and saying “see this is Advair, because there is not a generic for Advair. This is Djsdfoihaphin which as you see on the label is a substitute for Prozac”. We all took a step back at that one.
Anyway, I told ya that to tell ya this.
In some way or fashion I have always been around people who took drugs (college in the late 60’s/70’s you know). The Empress has taken some sort of drug or another since we were dating. I was very conscience of her drug and did make sure she never ran out of it. Of course I am talking about her birth control pills. “No pill, no thrill” was the motto she applied to me and she had it in her head that if she missed one, I was kicked out of the fun park for a month when she started the pill cycle again. Now I know that aint really right but I was in no position to argue. Time of course has moved on and there is really no need for her to take birth control pills. It seems like the combination of a vasectomy and hysterectomy kinda make the pill overkill. So one would think that Sugar was out of the pill monitoring business. Oh hell no!! I still have to watch her pill supply and intake. It is just I am watching different drugs now. No one and I mean NO one wants to be around should we miss our daily hormone pill and our Prozac (and I make sure she doesn’t get the generic. I want that shit to work!)
Yall have fun and play pretty out there.

2010-01-18T08:34:00.003-05:00

What happened to the people of Haiti is a terrible thing. I don’t care about the stupid rumors that they deserve this because of sacrificing goats to get rid of the French (which is by the way not too bad a goal) or any of the other drivel going on out there. No one deserves the devastation that has been brought down on those people. So I want to encourage all of my Faithful Reader to do the cell phone Red Cross donation thingy. It is so easy even the Empress has been able to do it.
The Red Cross is one of the most worthy of charities. I have seen them in action. The volunteers are the most selfless people that I have ever seen. Right now there are a great number of them who have put their lives on hold to go and exist in a sewer under extreme conditions just to help others. That is charity and dedication. Sugar donates money to Komen, ACS, and the Red Cross. That is it.
The people of Haiti are deserving of our help. Even prior to this disaster, they needed basic items you and I take for granted – clean water, electricity, roof over the head type stuff. The earthquake has exacerbated the need.
I am very proud of our Country’s response – both private and governmental. This is when we can all pull together for a greater good. Not because we are more “fortunate” but because collectively we have built a nation that can help when help is needed.
There is a HOWEVR
The first time a US Aide worker is threatened or intimidated trying to bring water/food or the first time a US Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine is fired upon we need to pull every resource out of there and say “you are on your own”. We are there to help. You want to impede that help or you want to harm an American? Goodbye and have a nice life in squalor.
Just saying here.

How Thoughtless

2010-01-14T19:32:00.002-05:00

Sorry I have deserted my Faithful Reader. Just some bullet updates while the Empress is at a seminar at Home Depot (and you thought those only happened at libraries and museums).
First I met a blogger last week. It was a long time coming and it was great until I died. Sorry, a sick olde man cannot be a pants load of fun.
I think I have thawed out? I have feeling in my fingers but my toes are still numb. That frostbite is a wonderful thing ya know.
Johnny Walker and Nyquil are a wonderful medicinal combination.
Georgia has absolutely no clue what to do in cold weather but by milk and bread.
Planning a dinner for a wedding rehearsal can be so much fun. Empress and I picked a place, menu, and everything else. Contacted the venue, they faxed info, and we are now back to square one trying to squeeze every nickle out of the budget. I thing the people at the venue already hate me.
When one of my personalities puts me on death row my final meal request will be lunch with our Saucy Wildcat.
This time last week BAMA was getting ready to become National Champions. As dead as I was, I didn't miss a second. The folks in the room next to me must have thought I was having some really quality sex by the sounds coming at the end of the game.
One day I will learn to put music on here. Something about embedding stuff but the last time I had something embedded, the Judge said it was only to track me for a couple of years.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, yall keep posting and keep me entertained.
And remember:

HUMANKIND: Be Both

Best Friends

2010-01-10T16:51:00.003-05:00

Your friend Sugar damn near died last week (well not really but ye all know what wimps men are). He would not have made it through without the help of two very good friends. So thank you my friends...................

Sugar Porn

2010-01-07T08:30:00.002-05:00

To make Sugar live and work under these conditions is obscene.

And yes I will have some cheese with the whine.

More Nature Tips

2010-01-06T21:44:00.002-05:00

And there is in the Great White North a reptile known as the Snow Snake. This is a very sneaky reptile. It is white and lives in the snow. The danger of the Snow Snake is that if you are walking in the snow it will sneak up on you, crawl up your pants leg, and freeze your ass off.

Wild Life Notes

2010-01-05T18:47:00.001-05:00

My Father spent time in Iceland during WWII. Now I won’t bore you with all of the details (and let me tell you they are plenty of those) but he did mention some indigenous wildlife. One of the more interesting animals was the elusive Key Bird. It seems the elusive Key Bird is a white bird that lives in snow banks. You can tell if you have an elusive Key Bird in your area by its distinctive morning call. It seems that at first light each morning during snow season the elusive Key Bird will stick its head out of the snow bank and call:
KEEEEEEEEEEEE RIST ITS COLD!!!!
I heard one this morning.

Ya Gotta Love It

2010-01-03T16:41:00.002-05:00

Iam impressed.
It only took two phone calls from my inlaws to make the Empress start the champagne at one this afternoon. Now I am dealing with a passed out and pissed off wife. These inbred yahoos never cease to amaze me.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, I get to go to Chicago in Jan tomorrow. Just what a Southern boy needs. Anyone wanna come down and keep Sugar warm? I am in the Hilton Garden Inn just outside Midway Airport. I have planned this place since it has a bar and resturant so I don't have to go out at night.
Yall have fun out there and try to stay warm.

Reviews and Wishes

2010-01-02T07:54:00.003-05:00

A couple of days late and several dollars short but here is my 2009 wrapup.
Just damn..............
Now that is a catch phrase I use for the extraordinarily good and the extraordinarlily crappy. There were both moments this year, starting in Jan and ending in Dec. What a roller coaster ride it was.
So here is to higher highs and much less lower lows this year. Gots lots to look for and the potential for lots of drama.
Yall play pretty out there and remember
HUMANKIND -- Be Both

We Made It

2009-12-27T12:11:00.002-05:00

Survived the whole Christmas thingy. Had a ball with Number One Son, Baby Boy, Fiance all over. Beatles Rock Band can bring generations together. Now I did notice that after spending some quality time with his Grandfather (my Dad) Number One upped his play on his X-Box killing games. I even think I heard him say to Baby Boy that they didn't have to worry on long term care for the elderly.
Must have been talking about ObamaCare right?

Just One More Christmas Comment

2009-12-24T18:22:00.001-05:00

People who are standing in line at 4 PM on Christmas Eve and have the nerve to complain about the service should be sentenced to a year in Retail.
I feel much better now.
Merry Christmas Yall!!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2009-12-24T10:45:00.002-05:00

May my Faithful Reader get what they want the most. I am wishing you all a great and stress free Christmas. Fingers crossed on that one................
Merry Ho Ho

To An Excellent Driver

2009-12-23T16:03:00.001-05:00

The inspiration for Rain Man has passed. I feel a bit diminshed by his passing.

2009-12-23T07:24:00.001-05:00

So I work in a secure building. We have little badges with our names and pictures on them and the card opens doors for you. If you are not allowed in an area, your card will not open the door. Pretty slick huh?
There is a sign when you come into the building to be sure to show your security badge picture to the security guard. This consists of flashing your badge at the Rent-A-Cop sitting at the desk. If you don’t show your picture, the Rent-A-Cop asks to see it. Tight right?
This morning I flashed my badge at the Rent-A-Cop and she smiled and let me in. I noticed that someone had dropped their badge on the floor so I picked it up and took it to the Rent-A-Cop. Was handing it over to her and she said “that’s OK, I have checked you in”. Problem is that the picture on the badge looked nothing like me. Unless of course from the time I watched myself shave this morning to the time I got to work I had changed into a Black Woman named Hilda.
Stranger things have happened I guess.
I feel soooooooo secure now.

Sugar Claus

2009-12-20T06:55:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was shopping day at the ole Sugar Shack. Tradition has kept me from sitting at home and doing this online so I printed out the Amazon lists, filled the Empress up with coffee and hit the dusty trail. Three stores later I had not purchased one thing but had a new list from E with all of the stuff she had stumbled upon. Little did she know that all of her loot is safely tucked in my closet on the other side of the house. Anyway, we finally got to the store we really needed. Trust me folks when the lists are all Xbox360 and CD’s you really waste your time in Macy’s. As expected the place was like a very loud anthill. I wandered about trying to find the music I had been sent for (where are the classic East Coast Rappers stored?) when I spied a self serve customer assistance stand. Grabbed the keyboard from a 10 year old with no credit card and began my search. Low and behold, everything I was looking for was available “in store”. I was amazed. They even had the Garbage Pail Kids Movie. Why couldn’t I find these things when walking up the aisle. My cart overfloweth. So ready to punch the print button and get the magic location map so I could surgically strike the store. This is so cool.
My order will be delivered “in store” by Wednesday. I was standing in the store shopping on line all of the time. (insert, Ya Big Dummy)
Merry Effin Christmas!

Well

2009-12-11T21:01:00.002-05:00

Sugar is alive and well in GA.
And he really doesn't give a rat's red ass about Tiger Woods.
Have ya noticed that since the Tiger hit the news we haven't heard a peep about the health care debaucle? And we kinda slipped the Afgan surge in to make health care third in the lamestream media.
But I don't have an opinion......................
Just saying here.

To You From Clark and Ellen

2009-12-06T08:27:00.001-05:00

Sparky lives!!!!!

So Far So Good

2009-11-27T10:24:00.002-05:00

The Empress and I headed to #1's for Thanksgiving. Seems he couldn't get off work. Add to that BB is now experiencing "split" holidays caused by in-laws. Yesterday was our anniversary so we went to the beach and split a bottle of champagne. Took some pictures and had some folks take pictures of us.
I told ya that to tell ya this:
Watching E try to send picture messages from her phone is like watching Ozzy Osborne try to empty the trash.

Just Saying

2009-11-26T14:05:00.001-05:00

If I were President. And if it was definitely the last Thanksgiving I would have in the White House.
Pardon the bird my ass!!! I'm eating this one! Chef get your plucking fingers ready and cook this baby down.
But there are lots of reasons I will never be President............

Thankful

2009-11-26T06:00:00.000-05:00

Each year we all post about being thankful on this day. I would like to keep my list short and sweet. 2009 has been (so far) one of the best years in a long time. I am most thankful for my friends, reunions, and rekindlings.
Yall have a great day and always please remember:

HUMANKIND -- Be Both

A Solution

2009-11-19T22:19:00.001-05:00

Health care and climate change are really big issues. I have a solution that may make everyone happy.
Put all of the old people on icebergs..................

2009-11-18T23:38:00.000-05:00

So I am sitting in a restaurant here in South Alabama. There was a table near me occupied by 3 young men and 4 young ladies, all about high school junior/senior age. There was also a young man of the same peer group bussing tables. One of the young men decided that he did not like something on his plate and chose to call the buss boy over. Proceeded to give him a ration of crap. Buss boy took the plate and went to the kitchen to fix. One wonders why the guy didn’t complain to his wait staff. Anyway the 7 young folks seemed to get great amusement out of bossing the employee around.
NOW
In this area of the country statistics will show that two of the young men will end up serving hard time in a State prison. Also 3 of the young ladies will have children out of wedlock in the next two years.
As to the young man working at cleaning tables? Well I would wager his future is a lot brighter and that you and I will not be supporting him or his offspring.
Just saying here…………………….

All Right Ladies

2009-11-17T18:39:00.002-05:00

To any woman who may stumble across this blog hear this loud and hear this clear!
Sugar does not give five rats' asses nor an effin Tinker's Damn what the latest "research" says about mammograms and self examinations. I have three dear friends whose lives were SAVED because of early detection. If any of these "research professionals" want to discourage early detection let them practice it on the women in THEIR lives.
Ladies be informed, protect yourselves. Gentlemen check your lady out. One of my friend's cancer was detected by her hubby.
Now I have not heard from my dear friend Blisters on this one but I know he would agree.
DO NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THIS LATEST "RESEARCH". I don't care what numbers may say. We are talking about YOUR LIFE!!!

(but I don't have an opinion)

2009-11-17T08:37:00.001-05:00

Dear Couple Next Door
Either take a break, be a little more quiet, or invite me over.

David Allen Coe

2009-11-16T01:06:00.001-05:00

"I Love This Bar"
If I had the tech ability I would insert his song here but yall know Sugar's tech abilitiy. Anyway.............
The bar at this Holiday Inn is a petrie dish of Redneck. Each table has two people. Two women bad mouthing their multiple ex husbands and two guy bad mouthing their multiple ex wives. Now of course this was not as important as the results of the Alabama and Auburn games this weekend and the prediction of who would kick whom's ass.
Anyway we have the requisite old guy who was drafted in WWII talking to the old guy drafted in Korea. We have the women/men bemoaning the fact that there are no good women/men out there yet looking aroung the bar to hook up for the night. I was fortunate to have a gay Candian sitting with his local acquistion for the night.
This place has 4 tables in the non-smoking section. I never saw any wait staff venture near them. The Health Department rating is 75% "Needs Improvement". I will be here all week. You can't make this shit up.

I Am An Excellent Driver

2009-11-15T21:58:00.004-05:00

(but maybe need navigation help)
So today I am headed to beautiful downtown South Alabama. This is a driving trip so I don't have to leave early and I can take my time. I left the house, went and filled up the tank and hit the road. About 30 minutes I parked, got out of my car and was about to get my bag to put onto the shuttle. Saw the clothes hanging in my car vice a suitcase. Thank goodness my parking place gives me the first 30 min free. Only added about an hour to my trip.
And on my way in I saw the Star Yeast Factory. Had been driving for awhile so I started imagining what the machine looked like. I think I will drop this line of free association....................
But I am here. I am on the last trip of 2009. Normally I hit the road at least 2 times a month but this is it for the year. I guess I will have to squeeze all that debauchery into this week.
And we wonder why no medical school will take the offer of my body for research.

Phriday Philosophy

2009-11-13T09:03:00.001-05:00

SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS

Thanks

2009-11-12T17:00:00.002-05:00

I would like to thank everyone for their good wishes on both Vets' Day and my birthday. I was able to spend each doing pretty much what I wanted which is a rarity in my life these days. On Vets' Day I stayed in and basically did jack shit. I have a project for Baby Boy's wedding that I was able to get half completed. I also played the "in and out" game with my Sunny Dae. It was raining and I left the garage door open so she could at least get some fresh air. So she would go out the pet door and about 10 minutes come to the back door soaking wet demanding to come in. I shudder to think what my life would be if I had daughters instead of sons.
My birthday was spent just like I had hoped. After a short stint at work I went to lunch with a dear friend. It was a delightful afternoon. Just like old times. Thanks for everything!
And since I am feeling rather mellow:

HUMANKIND -- Be Both

2009-11-11T07:00:00.001-05:00

Thanks!

All Hallow's Eve

2009-11-01T13:21:00.001-05:00

And the Farce was with me..........

Confession

2009-10-29T20:43:00.002-04:00

Your SugarDaddy has a problem with sugar. Now thankfully I have so far avoided the issues hitting the Great and All Knowing Os but if I don't watch my ass, he and I will have a whole lot in common. Case in point here. I love almost anything cherry. Cherry pie, cherry pop,, cherry Kool-Ade, cherry cheerleaders (wait, that aint right), etc. You get the message. On recent trips I have started going to the local grocery and getting food to micro in the room. One can eat only so much Applebees'. So I am wandering around. Have found my entree and am searching for something else. Have ya ever had a Krispy Kreme donut? If you haven't, visit the South and find one. Worth the trip. Anyhoo, I found this.....................

Eat your heart out. I am in Heaven. Os, I may join you sooner than I expected.

Tailor Lesson

2009-10-28T20:46:00.002-04:00

If you have a loose string on the pocket of your tee shirt, don't pull it.

Courage

2009-10-22T19:15:00.002-04:00

Old guy joke:
"It seems like a long walk across the bar to ask her to dance."
"Not as long as the walk back when she says no."
BUT
Last time he didn't have the guts. This time he worked up the courage to "walk across the room". She said no.
BUT
Maybe next time there will be a maybe. And the next.......
It just takes the courage to "walk across the bar".

Yall play pretty out there now ya hear.

Gonna Be A Long Day

2009-10-17T14:08:00.003-04:00

Today I get to take E about 2 hours away for a joint birthday party organized by her crazy aunt. I tried to schedule some root canal surgery but she caught on to me.
Now her aunt has reserved a block of rooms at the local LaQuinta (translation Next to Denny's) and has a great rate. I looked at the location and booked a Hilton Garden Inn across the street. "But we have a real good rate here!" Can ya beat free crazy anunt? Took her a minute.
Got up putzed around a little bit and ran some errands on the way. Stopped at Mr Fong's and picked up the dry cleaning, stopped at Wal*Mart because, well that is what you do. Grabbed some breakfast at Dunkin Donuts and seriously hit the road. Drinking my coffee I spilled some on my shirt. Pissed me off. E wanted to stop and get a Tide stain stick and I was bent on getting a new shirt to replace (those things really don't work IMHO). Pulled off at our hotel exit to check in and there happened be a Kohls so I went in to buy a shirt. Ended up saving $58 so you know I walked out with more than a shirt. Well we got to the hotel where I was going to check in and hit the new shirt a lick and promise with the iron in the room. Got the room and went out to the car to drag the stuff into the hotel.
Did I mention I stopped off and picked up my laundry?
But I am doing much better now...........

Big Ass Room

2009-10-15T21:23:00.003-04:00

I am sorry, but this is way too much space for one person. A four foot square conference table? Well if I were not alone and needed some extra "venues" for entertainment. That would be another story for an X rated blog..................

Manboob HNT (ewwww)

2009-10-14T22:17:00.000-04:00

Just to point it out, just over 1% of males contract Breast Cancer. This is unfortunate for two reasons:
(1) NO ONE should suffer from ANY kind of cancer!
(b) If Breast Cancer were more prevalent among males, the male dominated health care industry might have made more progress against this dread disease than it has (what’s the cure rate of Prostate Cancer?).
Remember, the two greatest risk factors of contracting Breast Cancer are being female and growing older.
Go to ACS, go to Komen. Give until it feels good.

So have you noticed?

2009-10-13T23:12:00.000-04:00

Some days it is hard to do nice things for strangers. This has slapped me a couple of times recently.
I get coupons for free breakfast where I stay. I don’t eat breakfast. Just the thought of food at that time of the day is not appealing to me at all. So what I try to do is give my coupons away. Breakfast runs about $11. I walk into the breakfast room, go up to a table, and offer to “buy” a breakfast by giving away my coupon. It normally takes 3 times to get someone to take the coupon. I have had to explain that I am not trying to sell anything or do I want anything in return. Just have this free breakfast, don’t want it, and am willing to give it away for nothing. Hotel aint losing anything. They would be giving the food to me in the first place. Lots of weird stares.
Then this past weekend while checking out at a dept store I was asked to buy some discount coupons benefiting the Susan G Komen Foundation. Well folks I will always give $$ to Komen so I purchased them. The coupons came in sets of three and each was good for 20% off a single item. I had two items and therefore one coupon left. With E by my side I tried to give this coupon away in the store. One lady actually took three steps backwards and looked around like she was looking for a cop. Finally, I walked up to a guy in line, asked him if he wanted the thing and he took it. No female would take it. Did I mention E was standing with me?
We are encouraged to “pay if forward”. Yet when we do we are suspect? I am not going to quit doing this but I have got to figure out a way to give something away without drawing suspicion towards the transaction.
Now of course this does not apply to “do you want some candy little girl?”………………..

2009-10-12T22:08:00.000-04:00

So I am checking in tonight and the clerk is really glad to see me. Now as a top tier member of their frequent flyers’ club I expect a bit of “over the top” greetings. This guy was really happy to see me. He was booking me in and telling me that I had requested a certain room type but he had upgraded me because of my status. Expected. Gave me the keys and room number. Said it was his “favorite” room. Creeping me out here. Got to the room and yep you guessed it. I am in a “Queen” suite.
Aint picking up any soap in the shower. Just saying here.

Freedom HNT

2009-10-07T17:23:00.001-04:00

I had the distinct honor to be allowed to serve with the Berlin Brigade in West Berlin Germany. My family and I lived there (110 miles behind enemy lines) for two years. If the “balloon” had gone up, our battle plans resembled those for Chef’s Reserve Company in the South Park movie (we were effed). That notwithstanding, I would not trade that assignment for anything. I may have shared this before but be patient. Us olde men tend to repeat ourselves.
We would go to the East to eat dinner. Lots of times we took #1 Son and Baby Boy. Every time we were leaving we had to pass the Brandenburg Gate to get to Checkpoint Charlie. Baby Boy started crying one night when we did. I asked him why he was crying and he said he was sad for all of the people who could not walk through that gate to freedom. I promised him that one day he and I would walk through the gate and it made him feel better. Of course I had no clue if I would ever be able to fulfill the promise.
Twenty years ago this week the Wall fell. One year after it did I walked hand in hand with my youngest son through the Brandenburg Gate. We stopped in the middle and toasted, hugged, and cried.
Ich bin ein Berliner…………………

The High Life

2009-10-06T20:55:00.003-04:00

You all know that if your job includes a lot of travel, you get to eat in resturants every night. However after some time you tend to slow down just a bit. Lately I have been hitting the local grocery stores, finding a TV dinner, or buying a loaf of bread and some meat and taking it back to the room. I am such an exciting person. Anyway, tonight I indulged in one of my favorites: Dinty Moore Beef Stew. Now let me tell you this stuff kinda sucks by itself. BUT if you put a little dollop of red wine in it you have a gormet meal. So without further ado, here is Sugar enjoying his supper (got to get the last drop of gravy you know).

Good Monday To Ya

2009-10-05T07:21:00.001-04:00

A long time ago in another life I made a good friend of the company’s trainer. We had similar interests and just seemed to click so it was rare that when I hit the company’s main office we did not get together. One day she was teaching a class and I just walked in to interrupt her. Now this normally earned me a punch in the arm but that was how she showed her affection (by hitting? Hhhmmmmm). Anyway on this day apparently she was about to wrap up the morning and was interested in going to lunch so instead of physical abuse, she introduced me to her class. Now she did not tell them really who I was and where I was on the company food chain. Nope all she said was “This is Mr XXX. He snores”. She then dismissed class and walked out. Talk about me standing there nekkid with my clothes on. Anyway, we went to lunch and I am not sure if she ever explained how she knew I snored that afternoon. Especially when she was late getting back.
I told ya that to tell ya this.
Last night when I finished up my milk and cookies I turned off my discs of the classic PTL Club (original Tammy Faye) and noticed a weird noise in my room. It appears that the dude (Lord I hope it was a guy) in the room next to me was snoring to beat the band. Coming through the hotel walls (and this aint a vacancy/no vacancy place). He finally settled down and all of us on this wing could go to sleep. This is a case of a dude (Lord I hope it was a guy) with some bad ass problems or thin walls. If it is the latter, I sure hope the rest of the week the room will be occupied with people who are doing more “interesting” things.

Remember, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Support BoobieThon (and see if you recognize anyone). Go to a Komen site and give til it feels good.

So

2009-10-02T17:30:00.000-04:00

All I have to say is that the only thing better than lunch with our Saucy Wildcat is a long lunch with our Saucy Wildcat.
Thanks for everything!!

Office Observations

2009-09-30T10:58:00.001-04:00

Sugar is not in his natural habitat this week. He is stuck in his Executive Cubicle trying his dead level best to fly below the radar. A colleague came by mid-afternoon yesterday and commented “I didn’t know you were here you are being so quiet”. My goal exactly. You can’t hit what you can’t hear or what you don’t know is here. Anyway, wandering around (always carry a note pad and people actually think you are doing something or going to a meeting) I have noticed a couple of things. It seems that we are taking this flu thingy quite seriously. In the men’s room they have installed a sign explaining in great detail, in two languages and pictures, how to wash your hands. OK……….
In the break room there is a poster in two languages and pictures explaining how to avoid the flu. I have learned that I should not cover my mouth with my hand on coughs and sneezes; I should use a tissue and dispose of it (and of course wash my hands). I should eat yogurt (the miracle food?). Don’t touch your face! I should take saunas? Basically to avoid the flu you should go home, lock yourself in a closet and don’t touch yourself (what are you going to do in the closet by yourself?). Now I told ya that to tell ya this.
When reading these very informative posters I noticed that they were from the Department of Health. Well one would hope so. The strange thing is that they were all from the MN Department of Health. My Faithful Reader may remember that I work in GA which even our Saucy Wildcat knows is hell and gone away from MN. Inquiring minds wonder why we get our signs from MN. Could it be that the handwritten notices in GA aren’t fancy enough for my company? Could it be that we can’t spell “flu”? I do know that we definitely probably need hygiene advice (the pictures help). Whatever it is, I send my thanks to my friends in the great State of MN. Jennybean, thanks for looking out for us.

Back In The World

2009-09-26T08:50:00.001-04:00

Finally made it back to the world of uninterrupted cell coverage and paved roads. That is the good news. The not so good news is I have three more trips to the same place in the next couple of months. Maybe Cliff the Verizon guy will take a stroll through that area dropping cell towers like Johnny Appleseed. Anyway all that aside, it was a pretty good trip. Got to stay in a Hilton Garden Inn where the beds are just fantastic. Even in my normal monastic travel state it was a pleasure to hit the hay. And of course I did have my friend the internet to keep me company when watching hate TV became too boring. One thing about this last journey was that my airport time was actually quite nice. Don’t know what it was but both Hartsfield, Jackson, Acme Roof and Shingle, Metroplex, International and Dullest were downright pleasant. Maybe it was payment for time served in West “By God” Virginny. Hopefully the next 3 visits will be as good.
Looking to a fun week of fighting ATL traffic. Not that I would wish bad on folks but I could stand some more rain shutting down the Interstates. Then I could “work” from home. Yeah, right! Who knows how the week will turn out? I may just have to take some time and have a Saucy lunch.
Yall play pretty out there!!!

Fat, Dumb, and Stupid

2009-09-23T23:30:00.000-04:00

Might not be a way to go through life but it sure helps if you are working in West "By God" Virginny.....

First Day!

2009-09-22T20:24:00.000-04:00

Happy first day of Fall yall (couldn’t resist).
I love the Fall weather, the colors, the football, etc. Some of the best moments in my life happened in the Fall. Now of course I have seasonal depression and guess which season is the worst of all? You got it, Fall sends me into a spiral (if I neglect my meds – aka Chard). But enough of that.
I am currently living in VA and working in WV. This makes for an interesting commute. About 10 minutes from my hotel I lose total contact with the outside world. Reminds me sort of Gilligan’s Island. Anyway you get my drift. I noticed tonight when I came back into VA that there was a sign saying Welcome. Basically it was a blow job from the State. That lasted about 10 yards. For the next mile I encountered sign after sign telling me things like “Buckle Up or We Will Kick Your Ass”, “Litter and We Will Kick Your Ass”, and ….. do you sense a theme here? Welcome to VA, play by the rules or we will stick the bat up your ass.
I feel the love……………………………..

TMI Tuesday

2009-09-22T01:13:00.000-04:00

I have never done a TMI Tuesday. However, since the TMI Gods have chosen to repeat one it must be a sign. So here it goes............

1. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be? The Archies
2. You seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy crap, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it? Holiday Inn Express
3. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there? Three days before the IBM IPO
4. What is your favorite curse word? Just Damn
5. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice? Linda Lovelace (for obvious reasons)
Bonus (as in optional):You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be? The ability to cure cancer.

Welcome To Hell

2009-09-21T18:21:00.003-04:00

No cellphone. No BlackBerry.
Ya gotta just love West By God Virginny!
And it was interesting to note on my way up that while I can't get a standard sized tube of toothpaste (invented in AL or it would be called teethpaste) past security, the little old lady across the aisle has two five inch aluminum knitting needles. What could do more damage -- floride or two sharp metal object?
Inquiring minds want to know...............

Accents

2009-09-16T17:58:00.002-04:00

Now I am American by birth and Southern by the Grace of God (we actually believe that down here). There are very few things I would change about living in the South and being Southern. Here comes the big "however".
Have you ever noticed that no matter what the person on TV/Radio/Whatever is discussing that if they have a Southern accent that they sound like total morons? I am talking about the toothless fat woman they drag out to say "it sounded just like a train coming" to describe tornados (and I have been in some and they don't) up to the polished statesman/woman giving a well thought out speech. Something about our accents that just don't come off as smart or polished. May be turning one syllable words into four or using a very strong long I (like in Eyetalian). I just don't know.
BUT
There is nothing that can melt a man into a puddle like a sweet Southern drawl from a sweet Southern lady. Just add an eyebatting to that and take my wallet/credit cards................
I'll trade that for sounding smart any day.

I'm Back

2009-09-12T08:25:00.003-04:00

Vacation was nice but it did have it's "moments". Let's just say I will not start one with three days at MIL's house again. The Empress' sibs can be such a joy. I think next year the vacay will have to include a flight and a passport.
On another note, I would like to thank our Saucy Wildcat. For the first three days it rained every day (hard) thereby negating beach time. When I left MIL's I called, apologized for bragging about being on the beach when she wasn't and admitted I had learned my lesson. She in an act of benevolence said she would use her powers to turn off the rain she had sent my way eliciting a promise of good behavior and a sacrifice to be named later. It was beautiful at the beach. Now I have to start saving for the sacrifice.

Vacay

2009-09-04T14:52:00.002-04:00

Ole Sugar is headed South for his annual post-Labor Day vacay. Why post-Labor Day? Families (screaming kids) have gone home and prices have gone down. So I am going to stock up on beach pictures, lay in the sun, and possibly enjoy one of these adult beverages of which I have heard.
Anyway, I will be thinking of all of you in workland as I enjoy the view.
(I'm at the beach and you aren't Nanny Nanny Boo Boo)

2009-09-01T10:00:00.000-04:00

When I was in grad school getting a touchy feely MA we studied lots of human behavior theory. I learned the triangle upside down and backwards. B.F. Skinner was a God because I was in Indiana. One theory stuck with me. It was called “what you are now is where you were when”. This basically said that an individual is in a certain position today because of decisions and environments in the past. In other words, look around you and evaluate where you are. You are there because of decisions you have made. You are not there because of luck. You are not there because of Karma. Fate has very little to do with your situation. You knew the job was dangerous when you took it! So as I sit here in my Executive Cubicle I realize that I have no one to blame but myself. Now I am not whining about where I am professionally or personally (and even if I were, I know I would get no slack cut at all). I am just sitting here listening to clients blame their mistakes on our product and I am listening to people trying to get me to pay for their healthcare because they can’t afford it or they are not “fortunate” enough to have it offered, or some other reason except for they do not want to accept responsibility for their own situation in life. I know healthcare is a hot button issue and don’t want to get into politics here (see Attila the Hun). I am just using it as an example of the tendency of people to not take responsibility for their decisions. I do make exceptions for things like cancer (who chooses that?), or any congenital/hereditary health issues. You don’t really control that now do you? I am talking about the basics of “I am can’t support a family on minimum wage (then get more than minimum skills and quit having kids)”. So the moral of this random thought is:
Look at where you are and what is happening in your life. If you don’t like it, change it. If you can’t change it (I can’t change a stupid decision I made in the late 1960’s that put me on the path to this cubicle), deal with it and move on. Dwelling on the past will not change the present.
Thus endeth the rant………….

2009-08-24T13:00:00.000-04:00

So I am sitting at the ice cream parlor in the airport yesterday afternoon. After two small sundaes (can't buy em in my town on Sunday but you can at the airport 20 miles away) I asked for my check. Guy brings it, I slide CC over and begin to calculate the tip. When he brings it back, it seems that the amount has changed to include "customary 15% tip". Pissed me off. Effin Jerk. Got on my nerves. I signed with the "suggested" tip.
Dude lost $1.00

OKAY?

2009-08-22T08:17:00.002-04:00

The Old Man called last night. General normal BS commenting up to a point. He then starts with "well I am sure your brother will be telling on me" which means that the Old Man has done something in a generally dumbass obstinate way. Nope. Seems this bit of info was about a new lady friend (yep he used that term) that he wants us to meet next time we come over. He is 88 and she is 84. My first thought was that she had to be blind and deaf but then was trumped by "cool".
Don't know when we will be able to meet this lady and haven't heard from my brother. Sometimes his telling of events differs from the Old Man's and I tend to trust brother's observations more.
Film at 11.

Perspective

2009-08-21T09:50:00.001-04:00

When a young man misplaces his keys, he thinks “I’ve misplaced my keys”.
When an old man misplaces his keys, he thinks “I am going senile”.

Where the hell is my hat?

2009-08-15T09:49:00.008-04:00

My Faithful Reader may not remember but Sugar is a kitty person. A couple of years ago our Saucy Wildcat let me adopt a kitty from her kitty factory (Midnight). Her name is exactly what she is. She is my Sunny Dae. I have often said that one of the reasons when I answer those facebook quizzes that ask “what was the first thing you did today?” I can say “I didn’t put a pistol to my head”. She is a joy to come home to even though all she wants is to be fed and let out to wander the yard. And wandering around the yard has caused me some angst. So far she has snuck into the house with a dead sparrow, a live blue bird, and a baby snake (dead). I have seen her stalk a deer, chase a baby bunny, and stalk a grown up snake (insert Sugar screaming like a little girl when he had to break that one up). These adventures have all come out well in the end and are marked down as just kitties being kitties (now her sister Gracie Mae just watches the activities). Last night however I think my Sunny Dae just may have crossed a line.
I saw her at the door and went to let her in. Previous instances of her dragging little “presents” inside have taught me to look before I open. Yep she had brought us something. Seems a yellow finch just moved a bit slowly and was now a plaything. I called #1 son (in town this weekend) to show him and he was duly impressed. The Empress came over to look and was clucking away about the poor birdie. Sugar broke into song singing “The Circle of Life”. Right about that time The Empress shouted “Oh No! That is too gross”. Well it seems that my Sunny Dae had decided that she was hungry and that yellow finches were just downright tasty. I couldn’t stop her because if I opened the door to stop her we would have been looking for dead finch in the house all night (if she is quick enough to catch birds, she can outrun and out hide Sugar). So long story short (too late) I went out the other door to rescue the dead bird. When I got around back, my Sunny Dae had eaten her fill and had wandered back to her hiding place to catch dessert. The Empress instructed me – through the door to (1) take care of the finch, (b) burn the door mat, and (3) make sure that Sunny was cleaned up before she came back into the house. The first two were accomplished with little trouble. As for the last one, have any of yall ever tried to brush a cat’s teeth?
My blood type is A+. Our local blood bank could use a resupply so please donate today.

"There's a lot of Satan in that cat"